This comparison shows he feels that he has not paid for the mistakes he has made, but that this will not go unpunished because life will charge him until he pays. This shows that for many years he felt guilty and responsible for what happened to his friend.
We can arrive at this answer because:
His lack of attitude to help his friend is seen as a responsibility he rejected. He believes his friend's death is his fault, a mistake he made that must be paid for if he and his friend are to find peace.
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