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HELPPPP!!!!! ! 100 POINTS!

You will revise one body paragraph from your informational article and write a reflection paragraph in which you explain the revisions you made.

View the grading rubric as you complete your work. This is your guide to a super submission.

Choose one body paragraph from your informational article to revise.
Copy this paragraph into a new document.
Review your paragraph for coherence. Make sure you have a topic sentence and supporting ideas for this topic.
Combine two or more sentences in your paragraph for varied syntax.
Review your paragraph for correct English language conventions. Correct any errors.
Write a short reflection paragraph on the revisions you made, describing the changes you made and how these changes improved your writing.
In one document, submit:

the original paragraph
the revised paragraph
the reflection on the changes you have made
Save your work to your computer or drive.
Submit your work in 02.10 Kick It Up a Notch.

Jellyfish takeover
Power plants, electricity, and fisherman.Jellyfish are clogging the power plants all around. They
are also eating all the fish eggs and that puts fishermen out of jobs. Japan, Israel, and Scotland.In
the Black Sea of Japan they are clogging power plants all around. Highschoolers raising money.
High Schoolers will be raising money by selling candy with the jellyfish inside.To write the
introduction to your informational article, begin with an engaging hook, followed by a concise
thesis statement outlining the three-part idea. Ensure the thesis is objective, evidence-based and
is written in third person perspective. Maintain accurate grammar, punctuation, and spelling.

Respuesta :

let's take a look at the paragraph you provided and make some revisions to improve its coherence and correct any errors.

Here's the revised paragraph:

Jellyfish are causing problems in power plants and affecting fishermen's livelihoods. They clog the power plants, disrupting their operations, and also consume fish eggs, which negatively impacts the fishing industry. This issue is not limited to a specific location, as it has been observed in Japan, Israel, and Scotland. In the Black Sea of Japan, for example, jellyfish are causing significant disruptions in power plants. Additionally, high schoolers have come up with a unique solution to raise money by selling candy with jellyfish inside.

Now, let's move on to the reflection paragraph where I explain the changes I made and how they improved the writing:

In the original paragraph, there were several fragmented sentences and a lack of clarity in conveying the main ideas. I revised the paragraph to include a clear topic sentence that introduces the issue of jellyfish and their impact on power plants and fishermen. I also expanded on the supporting ideas, providing more specific details about the clogging of power plants and the negative effects on the fishing industry. Additionally, I added examples from different locations to show that this is a widespread problem. Lastly, I mentioned the creative solution of high schoolers selling candy with jellyfish inside, which adds an interesting and engaging element to the paragraph.

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