contestada

I need your feedback on my poem
depression
every since my friend left
It has been like a rock
on my back holding me down
until I can't move any more
It's like stepping into a dark and terrifying alley with no idea what awaits you.
it's like you in the middle of the ocean, and there is no land in sight
it's like being punched in the middle of the day randomly
not knowing when the next hit will come
but in the end, they all say the same thing
THEY SAY THAT HOPE IS HAPPINESS.
that's hope is An eternal flame
but that never helps
depression is a Shadow
following you everywhere you go
you cant rid of it
only when your turn on the light
it hides waiting for the next time that your lights turn off
depression is like being Trapped on a Desert Island
The heat keeps burning; I need water. One drop of water is the hope
I have been waiting the drop never came
instead, the ocean came
The ocean is a mighty beast
ok yes thanks for asking I am ok

Respuesta :

malaysiaalaniz76

Answer:

hmm my opinion is i think your poem is perfect but i think you should go over it and is it me or like the sentence dosent make alot iof sense to me its a very beautiful poem but you have to at least make two things rhyme and it would make more sense ever thing else is ok you would be done with your poem

Explanation:

adengorib

Answer:

Ok, first of all, you need to add a LOT of periods to this poem. Double check every sentence. Overall, it is cool. Cool Beanz.

Explanation:

Capitalize every letter at the beginning of a sentence. The word an needs to be decapitalized. Same thing for Shadow. Your needs to be you. Trapped and deserted island need to be lowercase. That's all for this one. Also, if you need to talk to someone, Im available for sessions.

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