Respuesta :
You are depressed if you feel hopeless. Like you can’t do anything that pleases you.
okay, so i know we just goofed around in that chat, but ive been like genuinly depressed, like medically depressed for almost 4 years now. i had my first panic attack when i was 8. i woke my mum up and told her i felt like i was in a dream. like i was a goldfish in a bowl, looking at all these things going on around me and feeling helpless. tiny. wort hless. and i now am now 17 y/o. i still feel those emotions daily. life used to go by so quick.like every day i would wake up and just like want to go back to bed cause i always felt like i was in the wrong place. i guess looking back, i was in the wrong state of mind. I took a expensive like nice trip to whyoming with my grandfather and i... HA TED it. Like idk why. I would have loved it now, but i found myself writing in a journal everyday because i would forget what happened the day before, couldnt remember what i ate for like the previous meal. just my memory left me for the week i was there. worst feeling ive ever experienced. looking back, i was deressed and didnt realize, i was on wierd medic ations, and honestly just home sick. i was only like 12-13 but still i was such an anxiety filled little kid. My dad (disowned me a few months ago for having uhh bad stuff in my dr ug test) but he ssaw me having a crippling panic attack ( i go into fetal position generally, turn up lil peep or someone similar, like full volume, and just either cry or try but it comes out silent, never ever have i ever been able to see why i was in a panick, but trust me i was in a panic state) ok sorry back to what i was saying, my dad said presley(my name) you are like the best person ive met. like i know you will help us all in a big way some day. i was like ok ciche a f but he explained to me that when i was little, like 9, i saw on the news about like a hurricane in some hurricane prone place across the earth. the day goes on normal. then i go to bed only to be woken up at around 3 AM in cold sweats crying and worried. i run into my parents room and tell my dad that we need to go to that hurricane place and help. i wanted to give all my toys to the kids. i felt aweful. of course we didnt go on a couple thousand mile trip to give some used toys, but i told my dad to do something and he ended up making a pretty huge donation to that place. something around $1000. and thats the only part of all that i really remember, me being scared and my dad doing something HUGE out of the kindness of his heart to make me happy. but he told me, he said "that was when i realized you were like a human, cause in my eyes you were my adorable no worries sweet lil boi but right then, i realized now these things that you wouldnt generally even listen to, are upsetting you to the point of tears even though it would never effect you." well idk why i just told you that tbh. but alls im saying is i have many struggles and its hard. life is hard dude and ik this hurts to hear, but in my experience its so true, life doesnt want to help you. itll knock you on ur but and not care. I had some pretty big peronal issues going on when i was 14-15, and i thought that would be the hardest life would ever be, then my next door neighbor/baby sitter whom id known my whole life, O D and wasnt able to be revived. she took all the pi1ls in her house. then i realized lifes tuff and thats tuff, but im one human in 7 billion so why would anyone care. idk man. im sure u wanted a answer like yea ur depressed, but thats for you to decide, but once ur depressed, your no longer sad, your ruined atleast a little. like a emptiness that cant EVER be filled but can be forgotten with time and medications. but my final answer, the first story i said abourt the goldfish bowl thing, thats how i felt for 2 years, then i realized its depression as i got older. im sorry. you have been blessed by satan ig. hmu always tho. like ill give u my sound cloud playlist or whatever you want if itll help ya. life is hard but find a way to make it better. for me its uhhh girls and a bad thing u do w em ig, and music. thats the only two. love,affection,dr ug s, music. thats all i got. i am also suic idal which im sure u could have picked up on that, but as far as im concerned, this is the only place where there are my friends, girls, money,d rugs, and music. so ima live as long as i can. sorry i just rambled. like really im sorry. hope this helps in some way. prolly wont. sorry again. good luck vro frfr
